If I was led by God to love God, step by step, as it seemed, if I accept that the beauty and the rapture were real and true, then the rest of it was God's will too and that is cause for bitterness
the sparrow who fell
Links
our group's blog: la corporacion
comments by: haloscan
"Matthew ten, verse twenty-nine," Vincenzo Giuliani said quietly. "'Not one sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.'"
"But the sparrow still falls," Felipe said.
- The Sparrow by Maria Doria Russell
"Tis hard if all is false that I advance. A fool must now and then be right by chance."
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Life is card game. You have to play the hand that it has dealt you. You may not be able to choose the cards you have but you can always choose how you play it.
03-29-03
Intimacy without love is pleasure that dies after the throes of lust.
05-30-04
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Wednesday, June 30, 2004
coming home
My dad is coming back home today after his stay in Houston. His company wants him to stay there (my dad wanted to stay too so he could have his vacation around April-May) but my mom wouldn't have it. She said that it would be better if he goes home so that he could get that badly needed rest. Who can argue with that? Lolz. Ü
However, this abrupt announcement about his return made me neglect what I am supposed to do today. (OMG! Sorry Christine!)Not that I wanted to attend a meeting without sufficient knowledge about the modular. If I had attended, it would be like going to a debate without actually knowing what the motion is all about... Go figure.
On another tack, I got a major exam for math analysis today... God I hope I get decent marks... *prays* Maybe, I'll ask pat to pray for me too. Ü His prayers always work... dang! He ought to be a priest! Ü
For those who read my blog: feel free to comment by clicking the comment link at the end of each post
12:11 PM
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
to be irrevocably pour sui
Jean Paul Sartre conceptualized the two types of existence. The first one is 'en- sui' -> being in itself. This type of existence is complete, finished, perfect, undesiring and unwanting. It doesn't lack. It has no capacity for transcendence. The second one is 'pour-sui'. This type of this existence is incomplete, unfinished and imperfect. It has wants and desires. It lacks but possesses the capacity to transcend itself.
Human beings are generally pour sui. We always have wants. I have wants. Wants that do not generally get fulfilled. Wants that are a shade close to impossible. It is wanting something that pushes us to transcend who we are. However, there are also wants that keep us stagnant.
I have this particular want that is impossible to attain. I know that, obviously, but I can't just kick it out of my system.
my emotions are starting to override my logic again.. *sigh* This is the problem of wanting something partly tangible and partly intangible. Tsk... what an annoying predicament...
--> Something totally out of the blue...
I really want to say this: Watashi wa anata ga suki desu!
10:58 PM
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gobbledygook..
The whole point of this blog entry is to discuss whether or not I should be pre-disposed to act upon or be involved in things that are not necessarily under my, shall we say, jurisdiction.
What does it mean to be involved? For me it means that I should be actively participating in matters that do not necessarily directly involve me, matters that do affect my immediate environment. Being involved means that I should be keenly aware of my surroundings but of course, I cannot be aware in the same sense that a passenger in a bus is aware of what is happening in the bus and what is happening outside. I cannot just watch day by day without doing anything about what I see especially if what I see is wrong. Though the meaning of wrong is highly debatable for the sake of argumentation I would be adopting the Christian notion of wrong. Wrong meaning the act or omission that resulted to a damage inflicted upon another party or simply the failure to do what you're supposed to do, whether intentional or not.
Take for example the cars that often obstruct the pedestrian crossing. Those who are fetched by those cars are not at all bothered by it but those who have to cross the street are. These pedestrians, due to the mindless parking of some drivers, are exposed to unwarranted (- one of my fave words for the week *wink*)danger. Why? It is because their attention would have to be divided between the traffic and the cars who side up near the crossing. It is entirely possible that while dodging the car traffic suddenly flowed and vehicles started rushing towards the student and he gets whacked by one of those vehicles. It may sound morbid and even extreme but we have to admit that it is not far off from happening. With this in mind, I cannot sit around waiting for something like this to happen before I try doing something about it. However, these questions remain. Am I to be involved in things that do not directly concern me? Am I to look for a solution for a problem that I am powerless to fix? If I think that I can't do anything due to lack of clout then I am a big fat procastinator who can't get her feet shuffling to at least try and get something done. If I ignore this I would be responsible for any consequence (which is likely to be unpleasant) that may arise from my silence. With that, it may be said that I am going to be responsible either way. If this is so then, I would rather choose to be responsible for the consequences that would be arising from my positive reaction to the situation.
Simply put, I should be predisposed to be involved since it is my responsibility.However, just doing that would be careless. For in my wish to be involved it is entirely possible that I may be stepping on other people's turf which is something that I do not want. I wish to avoid conflict as much as I could. So to resolve this I may be better off informing the person who is in-charge of the situation before I involve myself in it.
...
It is potentially dangerous to to give unwarranted opinions...
9:21 PM
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Thoughts to ponder (i think)
Random thoughts... so random that i don't know where it came from...
Undermine your efforts only if you have not given your all.
25-June-2004
Moments frozen in still time are those that had cut the deepest wound in your heart.
27-June-2004
Curiosity killed the cat because the cat gave in to it... Baka Neko!
29-June-2004
8:26 PM
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Sunday, June 27, 2004
worries
Yesterday, my dad was rushed to a hospital in Houston due to severe chest pain and shortness of breath. When I had learned of this I almost wanted to fly to Texas in order to see him but I had to settle for a phone call from his colleague that would update us on the latest developments.
At that time, I seriously wanted to cry but I couldn't because if I started crying my mom and my sister would follow suit. I didn't want that. It would be to our advantage if we think positively about the matter. Crying would not result to anything save for a runny nose and a pair of swollen eyes. *glomps* I couldn't have stopped the tears from falling if Pat was not there to prevent me from bawling like a baby. Even though, I did not shed tears emotion flooded my brain, almost crippling my ability to think logically. My atrabiliousness got ahead of me and I kept on thinking about the worst case scenario. My heart was literally pounding on overdrive because of excessive worry. Tears were always threatening to pour down my face but I blinked them back. I keep on telling myself that I should believe taht he would be fine. True enough, earlier this am we have received news that he is doing okay.
11:07 PM
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Thursday, June 24, 2004
of enemies and friends
Funny how someone, who practically hates my guts and prays for the day I would breakdown, would nominate my friend for a scholarship.
Funny how friendships get shaken by a member of the opposite sex.
Funny how a crisis can forge back together a broken relationship.
11:51 PM
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004
exhausted but happy...
I'm flooded with work but I am tackling every single one of tasks with a smile on my face. Heaven knows that I enjoy my work so much that I am looking forward for a hell week. Let's see if that would cause my smile to waver.. hehehe
As usual, I have another meeting this u-break. I guess that would be fine enough for me since most of my friends are also busy with their own orgs. *sigh* Unfortunately, in the past few days I have been missing everyone like hell so I'd love to have a u-break when we would be able to have lunch together.
Oh well, I still have to study for my JPRIZAL exam, finish my COMMART summary, and go to the SC office. I guess that's it for now.
Thought for the day: What appears to be the dark cloud of trouble is often the shadow of God's wing.Ü
9:26 AM
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Saturday, June 19, 2004
Big whoop
Nobody important is online and I am bored to death. Go figure.
I was supposed to go to another General Assembly but I am too lazy to get my butt moving. Besides, I had my fill of GAs since last week. Just this Wednesday u-break I had four GAs to attend and only one body. Just as expected I was only able to attend two (the one for VP Acads and for the sort of freshmen welcoming next week) and passed up the other two GAs that were considerably interesting than the ones I attended. Oh well, at least I went to the GAs that were at the top of my priority list.
Meetings pretty much fill my vacant hours and even my class hours. Unfortunately, Aikee has the knack of calling meetings during my 1250-1420 class every Monday so there were times I actually skipped out of the classroom right after my prof checks the attendance and slip back in 30-40 mins before the time. Talk about playing hooky. However, that class is pretty much a rehash of my 3rd year HS philosophy so I could just wing it without batting an eyelash... besides, Im working hard for my new assignment as one of the SC Comunications Committee Heads. *glomps* I guess I really don't want to mess up anything anymore...
6:32 PM
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