If I was led by God to love God, step by step, as it seemed, if I accept that the beauty and the rapture were real and true, then the rest of it was God's will too and that is cause for bitterness
the sparrow who fell
Links
our group's blog: la corporacion
comments by: haloscan
"Matthew ten, verse twenty-nine," Vincenzo Giuliani said quietly. "'Not one sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.'"
"But the sparrow still falls," Felipe said.
- The Sparrow by Maria Doria Russell
"Tis hard if all is false that I advance. A fool must now and then be right by chance."
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Life is card game. You have to play the hand that it has dealt you. You may not be able to choose the cards you have but you can always choose how you play it.
03-29-03
Intimacy without love is pleasure that dies after the throes of lust.
05-30-04
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Sunday, March 28, 2004
My mind is a blank
I can't think
I feel like a zombie
I feel so alone...
I am alone
9:07 AM
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Monday, March 01, 2004
Too many things happened today:
1. jeepney stike - so okay, here is one situation wherein the decision of the oligopolist dictate market prices. The oil price hike has taken its toll over numerous jeepney operators who can scarcely meet their families demand as it is. As the operating cost for their livelihood increases the greater the loss they incur or the greater the decrease in their profits. Of course, as a profit-oriented institution associations of jeepnery operators sought for an increase in jeepney fare. Of course, it follows that various public transport systems would also increase their prices. Also as transportation costs become higher so does the price of goods sold in merchandising institutions. *sigh* Prices fluctuate at the slightest change in the prices of one good, such is the reaction of an inelastic economy.
2. political turmoil - no its not about the national elections. What I mean is that I am in a state of turmoil with regards to my political stand. I still am the same principled person who joined tapat. However, as circumstances may have it I cannot work for them anymore, not unless they duly explain to me what led to their decision. Some people continuously greeted me, patted my head, grabbed my hand and etc. Some of them tried talking to me. Tsk. With regards to this topic, i will remain resolutely unreasonable until I deem to be the opposite. One person, who is aware of my frustrations, told me through text messaging:
gusto kong malaman mo na naging masaya ako sa tapat dahil sa iyo, your1 of the reasons i have fun in tapat , ngayon bawas na dahil wala ka na. you helped a lot and i admired the way you think
How touching but that does not erase the fact that tapat disappointed me. *sigh* It is to be noted however that I am reluctant to move to the other side for reasons that completely evades discovery of my consciousness.
3. I walked out - Yes, walked out on our lacorp lunch. I was miffed at one of my friend's callous attempt to bring out a topic that greatly irritates me. If he was that concerned about it he should have talked to me personally instead of bringing it up in such an awkward situation. I know that I was the loser who bungled up I just wish that he didn't try to twist the knife.
4. I made new friends - As I was contemplating what a loser I am, I decided to mingle with several engineering peeps. As it turns out, I had fun being with them. They were such a cute and zany bunch! I felt at home with them. I like people from engineering, ja?
5. Kissing on the hand - weh! A cute guy kissed my hand as he bid me farewell. I kissed the guy on the cheek. I had to suppress every tingling sensation I felt. *sigh* Life is good... nah... not really... could somebody just shoot me??? or better yet, could anyone give me a boyfriend???
6. jealousy and concern- My mom got pissed because I decided to go home with my friends. I completely understand her sentiments. It was insensitive of me. While she was verbalizing her anger at me, she expressed, at the same time, some concern over my lack of sleep... ja... I will take heed of her advice... God loves me. This is one subtle proof of it.
May Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Patrick be with those I Love.
10:45 PM
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Everything in my life precipitated from an earlier action that I did. Therefore, every darned foul up that has happened in my life is no one's fault but mine.
Allowing myself to wallow in self-pity, I suddenly realized what an abominable loser I am. I seem to foul up everything that I hold as important. Take the yearbook for example... and then my relationship with *ahem*... my candidacy...
wahahahahahahahahahaha Lord must've decided to make joke out of life... Whoops that was wrong for me to involve the only Person who could put up with someone like me...
drat... What in tarnation am I doing in this world???
4:24 PM
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